Wednesday, December 29, 2010

GOODBYE HORRID DECADE!!!! / DECEMBER MADNESS.....HAPPY NEW YEAR!!


Lists Lists Lists...don't you love lists??? People don't realize that their whole entire life is determined & ruled by lists!! I love them, I find them fun...especially if their dumb. Well its the end of the year time, which means: list time, thank you time, goodbye time, get rid of stuff time, dump time...everything you could possibly imagine time. Resolution time? Get real!! BLEECH TIME!!! What else is there???
This is Happy Bunny's last hurrah...the tribute is later.
Its been wonderful. & I also have a new name slightly but I'm still Rozzie Bear here!! Don't panic..believe me, you'll know its still me.

I made a huge list of a few things. Things that were cool about this year...things that were cool last year..& things that are just cool in life in general & OF COURSE, the best list ever...things that sucked throughout!!!! [I thought I fixed this damn font on this crap but I guess not].
1st of all...right upfront, have to say, yes I will because no one else is going to admit it. They'll even say it was the best ever! NO IT WASN'T!!
Yes. IT WAS THE WORST DECADE EVER!! I thought the 90s were bad. I didn't think it would get worse but it did. WOW. Yet is it really over? What are the numbers? 2000-2010? They looked pretty didn't it... but you even know it sucked. Yes, there were a few things ok about them. MINISCULE!!! Where shall we start????

How about the ultra -suck 210! [2010 to you boring people!] It's taken me quite a while to come up with something decent in what was cool about this year. Just brutal! But there are a few things, so much so I'm just going to try to lump them together in 1 wacko list, so as if! It seems like there were more cool things than there actually were. Sorry about revealing the trick, but once you see it, surely you'll understand!

SO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I think I'll start with MOVIES!
1. THE A-TEAM
It took me hell to go see this. But I did. Especially when I found out the real guys from the original show would be in it, if only for a few seconds. This was the exact nightmare I had going to see the Starsky & Hutch movie [in a nutshell: Ben Stiller was brilliant, Owen Wilson sucked!]. Yet if you haven't seen it, the longer extended version on the cooly DVD that I got for Christmas WAS WAY BETTER!!!!!!!!!!!! Figure that out. I still think Sharlto Copley stole the movie...I still had a problem with Bradley Cooper. Patrick Wilson & Jessica Alba were completely annoying as all hell, yet everything else was perfect. Too bad Peter Graves didn't stay alive long enough to play Hannibal but Liam Neeson did an amazing job minus the hair [note to producers: There is nothing wrong with Liam's original hair ok!! so leave it alone next time!.] Go see it, its mega fun!

2. THE EXPENDABLES
I thoroughly enjoyed this movie immensely & yes, I'm a chick! I do not recommend this movie to ladies who actually think one of these dudes is good-looking. If you're squeamish, its not gonna happen. I have my favorites, but I also live for movies like this, but not at all in the Vin Diesel/Rock, [are you sure they're not the same guy???] Steven Seagal, VanDamme way. They're wussys!
Expendables! Now they were something. My only complaint is that my favorite Dolph Lundgren's part was smaller than usual but just amazing. Also all the knifing I could do without. Otherwise, it has my vote for megafun-ness of the year!!! I came out of that theatre wanting to kill everybody, it was great feeling!

3. THE RUNAWAYS
Gotta put some ladys here. The story wasn't much but it was still insane to see Dakota Fanning 'grow-up' before my eyes. Pretty damn cool!

4. RED
Nothing like Helen Mirren kicking ass!!!!

5. TANGLED
Very cute hairy movie...the way it should be..

Yep, that's it, no Harry Punker or BAdvatar or any other of that fake crap! Yet I must give it up for TRON!!!!! But I must save that for this new year!!!

Next: BOOKS:
People actually wrote some good books this year.
Yet these are all biographies.

1. BELINDA CARLISLE:LIPS UNSEALED
Who knew out of all of the Go-Go's, that she would be the absolute last one to get clean? That's insane. Pretty heavy read. Check it out.

2. RICK SPRINGFIELD: LATE LATE AT NIGHT
Beyond heavy about everything you could think of in one shot. War, music, tv, movies, music, sex. Did I forget anything? Yes, that's there too. Read it!

3. ROSANNE CASH: COMPOSED
WOW, incredible read about life about a musician with a famous dad & growing up & still thrive in her own career. Just incredible.

4. CHERIE CURRIE: NEON ANGEL
I have the original version of this book in a 'mini me' version she released back in the 80s. Yet this massive expanded version was just oozing with extras about everything in the sex, drugs & rock''roll genre. Pretty amazing.

5. PAT BENATAR: BETWEEN A HEART & A ROCK PLACE
Some of her stories we've heard before but she managed to put it together in a very interesting way. Especially for ones who don't know her, it works.

6. MAKING TOAST: ROGER ROSENBLATT
I guess I could call this a biography to a certain extent about a family, yet it's mostly a memoir about the author's lost child & the children who live on in her name. A very touching portrait of how to try to cope with a tragedy while still maintaining one's composure, especially when raising children.

7. CHELSEA CHELSEA BANG BANG:CHELSEA HANDLER
A crazy funny collection of stories about Miss Handler's life. Something to lighten the levity of any dull night.

8.STEWART COPELAND: STRANGE THINGS HAPPEN
This book came out in late Oct. of 2009. I didn't read it till this year & I don't subscribe to the Oscar way of doing things [You know...release the movie in December this year & nominate it in March the next year so that its the best movie of last year when no one's seen it yet, GET CRUCIAL!!!!]. So whatever came out late in the year counts as 210!
An adventure book of merciful proportions.

8's the best I could do..now for the COMMERCIALS...?
Yes, commercials. We all say we hate them but some always stick out. More to the point...there was NOTHING good on TV. Except DEXTER![I blame my Pook! don't ask...] with Eli Stone as the bad guy [which has no commercials by the way]. Crazy!! But one thing's for sure, I'm not going to go buy a Hyundai.

1.
Chevrolet Silverado/MAX & AL : The craziest car commercial in the world featuring an adorable little teeny cute baby construction employee named Ford Powerstroke. One commercial has Duramax & Allison trying to clean the little baby by hosing it down which it thoroughly enjoys. Just adorable.

2. CAPITAL ONE: There's was nothing more fun than watching these vikings shopping for everything along with their bearded son.

3. Taco Bell: The Yankees got in the action by having pitching great Mariano Rivera & Manager Joe Girardi make fun of what Girardi is constantly doing which is changing pitchers while someone is trying to eat a giant Chalupa. Too fun.

4. HYUNDAI SONATA :Crazy how trying to sell a car for Christmas might actually work if this lady came & sang those songs with it. A very cool duo called Pomplamoose does the most extraordinary versions of holiday classics you'll ever hear in your life. Very fun.

Most Annoying: Hopefully we'll never have to hear the UPS version of That's Amore anymore!

Now Music:
Once again the worst of the year is Rolling Stone Magazine's Best of the Year. But there were some good things...most notably shows...let's combine them shall we.........

1. STEVE HACKETT: BATTERY PARK
Steve came out with a new album called Out Of The Tunnel's Mouth this year & he put on a show not to be believed. With an amazing guitarist named Amanda Lehmann, it was just tremendous. The best concert of the year.

2. PETER GABRIEL-RADIO CITY
Peter's new album Scratch My Back was orchestrated versions of his favorite old songs. His show was mish-mosh of old & new songs with an amazing orchestra. Just dazzling. Especially his background singer who turned out to be an amazing singer in her own right.

3. ANE BRUN: BOWERY BALLROOM
Normally i cannot take shows without some sort of loud drums! But this show was something incredible. Not 1 week after singing with Peter Gabriel at his Radio City show, she played with her mini-band of ladys & Gabriel's daughter to put on a mesmerizing show.

4. LARRY GATLIN & BROTHERS-59@59
A weird name for a concert hall but 59 was a tiny beautiful place in which I got to sit first row for the greatest male singer in the world. Thank God there's some country left in NY & he showed no signs of it dying. A very special night I'll never forget.

5. BARRY MANILOW:Y
Yes, Barry played the Y & I got a backstage seat. I never thought I'd ever get to see him, let alone for free but this was nothing short of brilliant. Not only did he bring all his own wardrobe for which he only wore one suit but he did all my favorite songs!! Pretty damn cool!

6. STYX:BEACON THEATRE
I actually think they had a new album this year but they didn't do any of it, thank God!! A wild show featuring 2 of their shortest albums in recorded history spliced together in 90 minutes excluding intermission. Larry Gowan still remains the most exciting performer & lifeforce in this band now. Tremendous.

7. LINKIN PARK:NOKIA now BEST BUY?
So the dumb place changed their name in a span of 2 minutes but they still put on a show. Not my favorite new band but very exciting to watch & very loud which is all I care about lately!! They have a weird new album called A Thousand Suns which no one seems to like, but they still went to No. 1.

8. HEART: RED VELVET CAR
Heart's new album was a little mellow & I missed their Hammerstein Ballroom show but they are still Heart & they do still rock, only slower, which hopefully they'll fix.

9. WALTER EGAN: ROCK CON
Going to Jersey was no picnic, but seeing what was there was pretty cool. While a million artists were performing at a very Rock convention & while he only performed 2 songs, Walter proved after all these years he is still a viable artist. Hearing his classic hit Magnet & Steel was nothing short of breathtaking.

10. ELMO-ROCK CON
If you were to get to see anyone play one classic song & just be satisfied with hearing the song exactly as they did it in the first place & be so satisfied that nothing could top it, who would it be?
For me it was Elmo, not the puppet. Famous for the duo Elmo & Patsy who's Christmas hit Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer is still a classic. He played it at the Rock Con with the house band who just nailed it. It was worth everything!

STUPIDITYS OF THE YEAR:
Do I even have to list this? It's so obvious its ridiculous. Yet I'll list the really stupid ones in my book & nothing no matter what will ever top No. 1.

No. 1: VAN MORRISON GATE
Better than the Tiger Woods story, while everyone admitted to sleeping with Tiger, the one chick who didn't, actually had the balls to admit to not only that she slept with Van the Man, but had a baby with him. Now that is insane! Especially when denied knowing who she was, when she was apparently one of his website runners. I would've totally believed believed him had she stayed shut.

2. MILEY CYRUS BONG GATE:
So she hit 18 & bonged a weird legal drug that everyone is buying now. Is she doing this everyday? NO! Is she a drug-addict? NO! Is she a major slut asking for money for he drugs? NO! Is she the biggest star in & out of rehab right now?? As Winehouse says NO!! NO!! NO!!! So hat is the big deal? All she did was make the drug famous.

3. VH1 DIVAS FEATURING JERSEY SHORE CAST.
VH1 put on the latest of their sucky Divas show overseas for the troops as if they don't have it bad enough over there. The geniuses decide to have a few introductions from the idiots of Jersey Shore live. Now mind you, the entire audience consisted of troops. ARMED TROOPS!!! I still don't understand why these troops didn't just aim & fire the minute those clowns walked out there. I would've!! & would've felt a duty & honor to serve my country by ridding the world of the garbage!

4. SPIDERMAN CRAWLING:
If Van The Man hadn't made my No. 1 list. This one surely would've been it. U2, who used to be one of the greatest bands in the world, sort of...decided to score a musical for Broadway about Spiderman the comic. Not knowing they wouldn't have CG, special effects, ILM, avatars or George Lucas & IN FACT NEEDED REAL PEOPLE, they practically killed cast members at auditions & rehearsals trying to find some way to make Spiderman real. Big mistake. Everyone is getting clocked left & right. 1st of all, if they read the comic at all, Spiderman DOESN'T FLY!!! HE'S NOT SUPERMAN!!! So why are there acrobats on the show, making him fly & why are they getting killed? SPIDERMAN CLIMBS WALLS!!! THAT'S ALL!! WHAT IS SO HARD??? Oh well, doesn't look like the show is going to happen, because inspectors, officials & fire marshals are having a field day! Now that's fun.

5. DANCING WITH THE STARS:
ARE YOU KIDDING? WHY ARE YOU PEOPLE LOSING YOUR MINDS OVER A FAKE DANCE SHOW?? THEY CAN'T EVEN DANCE TO THE REAL SONGS, THEY USED FAKE BAD VERSIONS OF THEM...SERIOUSLY???

6. LEANN RIMES GATE:
Are you kidding? Everyone hates this girl now. Because she cheated on her husband with another married dork & they both got divorced & are now getting married to each other. Because why? This isn't supposed to happen? Or this doesn't happen in country music. IT ALWAYS HAPPENS IN COUNTRY!!! ITS A TYPICAL COUNTRY SONG!! They did it publicly?? May I remind you this is exactly how Jennifer Lopez & Tori Spelling [2 broads I'd never though I'd mention in my bleech!] acquired their new husbands & everyone seems to love them, except me. I think Leann is ok, so back off!!

Hope you dig my list...feel free to give me yours & I'll tell you why it sucks....
I HAVE MORE....WAIT FOR IT....HAPPY NEW YEAR!
XOXOOXOXOX
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