Saturday, November 19, 2011

MY BLEECH!!!: RETURN OF THE RANTZ & RAVZ!!!

HELLO KIDDIES, DID U MISS ME?

It's been a long ugly year but for some idiots apparently their stupidity has been fun so why not talk about it????? It's amazing how much can happen when you've been gone. But it seems my fun has just begun! Yes, it's been a while since my last bleech but I'm back to report on the stupidity of our great rock stars & other idiots. Our last bleech dilemma ended with me deciding whether or not I should keep using Sir Happy Bunny for my mascot. Took a vacation too. But it looks like I will keep it, if I could find 12 months of new ones...it loves me!

WOW, so what have I missed? Turns out in my absence everyone just went nuts!!! Where do I begin? I should start with a end of the year list. Lists are still the best. I did hear & see some interesting things even though I hate everything. I could dooz it. I actually have a good list. But I'll make you wait a bit more for it. But for now I will give my version of Thanksgiving for these loons who seem to have made my year!!

So who are the Idiots of the Year? Charlie Sheen?? Saddam, Osama??? At least one of them made it out alive!! How? I'll never know. But I have better idiots to talk about than these clowns!! Duh!! Winning!!??? I don't think so!!! Although I have to say I love that phrase & it is the best of the year!!

BLEECH IDIOTS:

1. How about Ashton Kutcher?? Need I say more?? See guys, if you don't know by now, when you have a really pretty girl who actually wants to put up with your sorry ass...you should try to keep her!!
He's not even my number one clown/dork/ jerk..what other names should I use??? Isn't this fun??? How about deadbeat! ???

2.
Case in point: Neal Schon of Journey who really isn't Journey anymore so there's no point in calling them that either.
So the rule now is you get married for 2 months [or in some other cases 72 days...] & you run off with your ex who just happens to be a famous White House gatecrasher who is so sick of her jerk that she somehow forgot for 2 seconds that she went out with you, then remembers, then decides to run off with you, so you dump your new wife & go off with her, when her man's losing it thinking she got kidnapped by your wussy ass, show her off to your poor band who's been struggling to try to be who they were once without the one guy that made them who they were [in the poor band's case: the real singer!] & after making them play the worst gigs ever, you get tired of that so now you & your new squeeze can go get a new reality show so that you & your horrid band can make you some new money to pay for your new TV broad since your 2 month old lady who's so pissed at you is about clean you out of every dime you ever made with the bums!! Is that the rule now??

3. Lindsey Lohan: Is she really this stupid? She must know she'll never spend anytime in jail since it's too crowded. Still her father is worse since he's going away so I don't think she's that dumb at all!

4. THE EARTHQUAKE OF NY!! : I really expected more from you!! Although it was the first time my bed moved in years!! So that was fun!

5: The poor YANKEES: Now not all of them are idiots, some are still way cool, as in my favoriteS & I don't care what you say: AJ Burnett!!, He's as psycho as they come & will forever be a fun real proper Yankee for me!,
Francisco Cervelli, the most fun catcher we've had in years, who gave me one of the best fights & plays of the year!!!! Nick Swisher, the craziest Yankee yet & Brett Gardner, the fastest little nugget you'll ever see. As for the others, well I'll leave it up to you to decide! I have a few...but I will be nice...!

6. Robert Plant: No not because he rejected Led Zeppelin once again [good for him!], not for another Grammy winning country album with Miss Alison Krauss, which was amazing, but for supposedly getting married! Why?? does this put him on this list when his new missus apparently is cooly folky lady Patti Griffith!?? Because he didn't marry Alison !!

7. Unfortunately utter hatred for this person keeps me from mentioning my most vile, ultra & the winner of the prize of the Idiot of the Year award's name. I really wanted to give it to Joe Perry for trying to even think that he could fathom an Aerosmith without Steven Tyler, but nooooooo, Neal Schon was the massive winner for me but it still goes to this person. I will say it a girl...who's been married a few times & finally decided to divorced her lately victim after having twins with him & supposedly went out with the Sexiest Man Alive of the Year [according to People mag anyway...] for 2 seconds after the fact. So if you can't guess why i wouldn't even spit on this person. You'll know who the biggest Idiot of the Year is. I thank you for playing. You may guess & I will tell. !! If you ax!! But I won't mess up my Bleech with her name! Extra hints: has the most annoying commercial on TV right now & thinks she can act & sing!!

Extra idiot awards go to Charlie Sheen's Goddesses, who were the biggest bunch of idiots since him, for actually trying to hang out with him. Christina Aquavelva for trying to come back & last but very least: Larry King, Oprah & Regis for finally going away & putting us out of our misery!!

COOLY LIST TIME:Here's my list for the end of the year. With special mention to Lady Gaga which I never thought I would say but she actually released one good song called 'You & I' with a very tremendous Brian May solo!! 2011 marked the return of some very classic favorite bands in a giant way so it's fitting that this list would be full of those greats & a couple of new ladys who are kickin' it. Also the greatest returns of the year are Beavis & Butthead & the Muppets!!!

2011 ALBUMS:
1. MOVE LIKE THIS-THE CARS -Amazing return for them, great tribute to good ole' Ben Orr, whose sorely missed.
2. PANIC ON GIRLS-BLONDIE -they seem to be able to do no wrong lately, just incredible!
3
. HELL ON HEELS-PISTOL ANNIES -Miranda Lambert's little band of new wild girls... pretty fun!
4. LET YOUR HAIR DOWN-STEVE MILLER BAND -is it even possible for him to make a bad record???
5. IN YOUR DREAMS-STEVIE NICKS -a little light but very classic Stevie!
6. ALPOCALYPSE-WEIRD AL -still the master of fun!!
7. FOUR THE RECORD-MIRANDA LAMBERT -it just came out but she's still powerful!
8. ALL YOU NEED IS NOW-DURAN DURAN - these boys still rock!
9. DIRECTORS CUT-KATE BUSH -it's been a very long time but she still has it.
10. BEYOND THE SHROUDED HORIZON-STEVE HACKETT -is it possible for him to stop making records?? It's like he releases one every second!!
11. 21-ADELE -a new lady worthy of mention!
12. HOW TO BECOME CLAIRVOYANT-ROBBIE ROBERTSON -still brutal after all these years..
13. SEEDS WE SOW-LINDSEY BICKINGHAM -still psycho after all these years...
14. BAD AS ME-TOM WAITS -still crazy after all these years!
15. ROUGH & TUMBLE-JOHN WAITE -
still rocks after all these years!

MOVIES 2011:
1. SUPER 8:
Amazing fun movie! All the kids in the movie steal the show. Very good & exciting. Check it out!

2. REAL STEEL:
WOW, talk about battling robots??? This movie was fantastic!!! Totally destroys Transformers!! Why? Because these robots were real??? Is there such a thing???

3. HOP/CARS 2/RIO:
It's a TRIPLE tie!! Too fun, I'll always love these! HOP was the best!! My kind of movie!!

4. COWBOYS & ALIENS:
I thought this was dumb at first but I'll see anything with Harrison Ford! Yummy!! Still nothing like seeing aliens lose their minds!!!

5: HANNA: Nothing like seeing some crazy girl lose her mind! Very cool!

6: RISE OF THE PLANET OF THE APES:
Very impressive!! Nothing like watching apes lose their minds! Much better than the Marky Mark version!!

7. TRANSFORMERS:DARK OF THE MOON-3D:
This movie sucked!! But I had to include it because it was worth sitting through because of the amazing voice of the great Leonard Nimoy!! Worth it to hear him be so mean!!

8. DRIVE CRAZY-3D:
1st of all 3D sucks!! It's not good for all parts of a movie!!! This movie sucked too, but it was more fun & sicker than I thought it would be. Nicolas Cage is just insane!!



9. ARTHUR:
Surprisingly fun. Didn't think I would like it but Russell Brand was pretty funny in it. Helen Mirren just rules my world!!!

[I didn't see Hangover 2, could care less about those psycho baby vampires, Thor sucked goats & not crazy about Harry Potter, & Footloose??? r u kidding????....
props go to TOWER HEIST, PUSS IN BOOTS & HUGO!]

[I'm leaving 10 for what should be the 2 last great movies of the year especially the 10th which will be the best movie of the year....
]


10. THE MUPPETS:
It will be the best movie of the year if Jason Segal doesn't ruin it!!! The return of DR.TEETH & THE ELECTRIC MAYHEM!!! HELL YEAH!!!

There's my return Bleech, hope you'll follow me into the new year. Hope I follow me into the new year & I desperately hope & I'm sure there'll be some new idiots to talk about !! I certainly can't wait & my Bleechs will be much better & revised in some odd way !!
Luv to all xoxoxoxoox
Rozzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz!!!!!!

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