Friday, December 29, 2006

GOODBYE 2006..PART 2-TOP 10-QUICKIE...



I forgot was my Best Albums of the Year list. That's why Happy here is so sad! I can't believe Xmas is gone. So here's goes Happy!

Well first of all, this had to be the WORST YEAR FOR MUSIC YET! Rolling Stone released their ultra-suck list but they kept them to 50. Which is hilarious since it's amazing they even found 50 [It used to be 100 you know- it's incredible they even found 100 songs, which is a JOKE!]. I'll tell you this, I'm amazed I FOUND 10!!!!!!!!!!!!! The reality is shows have become better than records lately:

Best Shows:
1. ASIA 25th-Nokia, Oyster
2. GO-GO'S 25th-Nokia
3. RINGO * & SHEILA E.-Radio City
4. LISA MARIE PRESLEY-BB King's
5. DENNIS DEYOUNG-NJ
6. AIR SUPPLY-BB Kings/St. George
7. QUEEN & Paul RODGERS-Nassau
8. WNTDTYR-Alphabet Lounge
9. BREAKERBOX-Continental
10. IAN GILLAN- Ethical Culture


[Sad sidenote: The only reason that David Gilmour & Roger Waters weren't on this list is because I MISSED IT! ]

But here it goes & I will leave you with the BEST ALBUM OF THE YEAR to listen to, Because RS seems to have forgotten this record BECAUSE THEY'RE STUPID!
It's not on their list AT ALL, they officially SUCK NOW! & I DARE YOU to tell me that these shouldn't be here! I don't need to explain any of these!

1. ON AN ISLAND-DAVID GILMOUR [brilliant & mellow]
2. EYE TO THE TELESCOPE-KT TUNSTALL [genius new lady]
3. WOLFMOTHER-WOLFMOTHER [I love the title it says it all]
4. XXX-CHICAGO [yeah, that's right 30!]
5. TAKING THE LONG WAY-DIXIE CHICKS [tremendous]
6. FROM THIS MOMENT ON-DIANA KRALL [too cool]
7. PRETTY LITTLE STRANGER-JOAN OSBORNE [not fair since it came out in Nov. but it took that long for anything else to come out this good this year]
8. TURN AROUND-JONNY LANG [he's just sick!]
9. UNDER THE COVERS VOL.1-MATTHEW SWEET & SUSANNA HOFFS [this was very well done]
10. BLACK CADILLAC-ROSANNE CASH [I met her]
11. THIS OLD ROAD-KRIS KRISTOFFERSON [ok, so I found 11- who cares!]

I bet y'all didn't even hear these, or didn't know they were out. Well now's your chance to get with it loons! I'll tell you what the

No. 1 song of the year was, since it just came out & since I missed it, it's............
RICK WRIGHT's version of ARNOLD LAYNE [not Bowie's], which is beautiful & for SYD!! THERE!
No. 2-ROGER WATERS version of HAVE A CIGAR!
No. 3: Actually it's WOLFMOTHER's version of COMMUNICATION BREAKDOWN! Wolfmother has managed to do something I never thought would happen, make me like a Led Zep song!!!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!
luv, WIZARD EARL OF ROZZIE BEARLAND!!!!!!!!!!

Tuesday, December 05, 2006

GOODBYE 2006.......YOU SUCKED!



WOW, it's DECEMBER? Did we eat Thanksgiving?? Well, HAPPY THANKSGIVING LOONS! MERRY XMAS & HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Damn, this is going by too fast & too top it off a lot of crap has happened.
Well, where should I start, I don't think I've done this before & I wonder why I didn't but if I forgotten anything before I will put it on here today. Anyway, I thought I'd end my Blecch of the year with my Bleech of the Year! 2006-ALL THE CRAP THAT HAPPENED!! & good old HAPPY is going to help me with this one, isn't he cutesy??????

Let's see, where do I start my goodness? Was this a good year or not? For music? for whatever? Is it getting worse? I don't see it getting better, such little things are making that happen... but why not.. let's talk about it...There were so many sucky things that happened I don't know where to start.. maybe I'll start with the Ok things & the not so bad cool things that actually made this a good year..

1. STEVE MILLER -FELT he needed to explain why he is a GENIUS! No need darling..we know! & remastered FLY LIKE AN EAGLE!!! WOW!

2. ASIA GOT BACK TOGETHER!!! ASIA! ASIA! ASIA! ASIA!! Maybe Steve Howe will stay where he belongs!!!

3. the GO-GO'S CELEBRATED THEIR 25TH ANNIVERSARY!!! Before ASIA? Am I that old??

4. PINK FLOYD GOT BACK TOGETHER SEPARATELY IN HALVES !! DAVE & RICKY; ROGER & NICKY. All this after Roger insisted that he'd married Rick in a private ceremony in Rome last year....cool! Plus, that Ricky could sing & he sang for & sounds just like Syd how amazing, spooky & beautiful is that?

5. WEIRD AL IS THE MASTER! But everyone knows that too...

6. THE TUBE a new beautiful music channel has emirged greatly. Although they play a pinch of bad stuff, it's ok.

7. ROGER WATERS Finally insisted on singing Have A Cigar!! What the hell took you so long?????

8. WOLFMOTHER IS AMAZING! & Mike Patton is an idiot!! [see below!]The 2nd greatest band to come out of anywhere in the last 20 years..that's a miracle & a 1/2. [The 1st was Collective Soul by the way, & yes every other band [I should say every MALE band] since then or since the 90s started has sucked!

9. Michelle Branch lost her mind & not only told her fans to screw it if they didn't like her new band the WRECKERS...who did pretty damn good, but also said she didn't want to make that awful Santana record but was forced to.... That was cool, good for you Michelle for deciding to make better music....[I dare you to ask her to play that song with the Wreckers see what she says....]

10. I found out that the RUSSIAN translation for the word 'drummer' in english is 'IMPACT'!! it's confusing but THAT'S FREAKIN' COOL!:
ANJ: GTR ; SUKI: BASS ;
WIZARD OF ROZ: IMPACT Nice!


11. I got to hang out TWICE with IAN GILLAN & GRAHAM RUSSELL! Talk about a difference between 2 hunks! WOW! & to top it off Graham's doing a solo record! FINALLY!! & Ian wants me to sit thru Deep Purple next year[?] when he comes back with them. [Now that may be a problem but for him -anything!] I also got to hang out with cool crazy Lewis Black!


12. DICK CLARK & KEITH RICHARDS! & RUSH!
INDESTRUCTABLE!!!!


13. SHEILA E. PLAYED FRANKENSTEIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
WHAT ELSE IS THERE TO SAY??????????????????????


NOW THE ULTRA SUCK LIST!! Can we agree on this please???? Not in any particular order, but they should be, you decide because I can't!!!

1. JEWEL HAS COMPLETELY LOST HER MIND!!! What can I say about her new record? I cannot figure it out...she's lost it..

2. BON DORKFACE got into the UK HALL OF FAME??? Are you kidding me? Does this mean they're fat & old their career is over?? We can only pray!!

3. JY & Tommy Shaw still insist on calling themselves Styx... mercy........

4. Idiots are breaking on the DIXIE CHICKS again so they made this great movie about it- SHUT UP & SING!! Why are we in this country again???

5. Jerry Lee Lewis, Tony Bennett, who are still alive & Ray Charles who is gone, all recorded useless duets with artists who desperately need to be cool.... WHAT THE HELL??????????????????? and SANTANA AGAIN??? he doesn't even sing? why is still doing duets?? HELLO???? NOW they've decided to drag poor psycho [oops:psychic?!] lady DIONNE WARWICK into this. She's done enough duets in her career-GOOD ONES I MIGHT ADD!! She doesn't need anymore!

6. KISS decided to tell KITTIE the lady metal band that they couldn't name their record company Kiss of Infamy... like anybody cares about their fat asses anymore!

7. JOURNEY & FOREIGNER [who also insist on calling themeselves that!] BOTH REPLACED THEIR FAKE SINGERS WITH 2 DIFFERENT FAKE SINGERS BECAUSE NONE OF THEM CAN SING!! SO THEY GOT OTHER GUYS WHO COULDN'T SING EITHER & THEY GOT SICK TOO! ?????????????????????????? ???????????????????????????????????????????????? Yeah ,sick of being fake!
?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
There's a point to this, do you think they'll ever figure it out?????

8. GOWAN & RICKY PHIILLIPS ARE THE BEST THINGS IN STYX NOW! ??????? Isn't that the GOWAN band?

9. Mike Patton [formerly [????] of that horrendous Faith NoMORE band, who are 'no more' thank GOD!]apparently absolutely hates Wolfmother, on which he states on a infamous YouTube video, while being asked what is he up to these days on something someone had the gall to call Icons.....
The nerve of a man who has never made an inkling of good music in his life nor will he ever, should have no right to speak of an actual good band! At one point in the tirade he actually utters the words 'what year are we in?' So who does he want them to sound like? Him??? Jerk!

10. Eddie Trunk -Metal-idiot galore-had the nerve to say that HEART shouldn't be in the Rock'n'Roll Hall of Fame yet because they didn't make an IMPACT in the music industry!! ????????????????????????????????????????????????????
How's about I make an IMPACT [see above] on your ass???? BUM!! Oh, he did insist that Van Halen & Kiss should, or yet better! get in the R'N'R HoF BEFORE : CHICAGO, YES, GENESIS, ELP, MOODY BLUES, NEIL DIAMOND & every other rocker with talent that's not in there yet, because they deserve it. yeah, right....

11. the Killers just suck! & Rod Stewart insisted that Bread was rock! NO!!

12. Genesis got back together & are apparently going to do the same set they did in 1996. And possibly lower the key to I Can't Dance 20 octaves more! They insist!-out of their mouths!-that this is what the 'fans' want. [Fortunately they won't put us out of our misery till Sep 2007????]
THE TRUTH: Do you really want to know the one song the fans want to hear?? The biggest song that Brits have been asking for forever from them?? [that they are speaking of!] Believe it or not is: FOLLOW YOU FOLLOW ME!! WHICH THEY'VE NEVER DONE!!& you can bet that they will not do that. SO no Phil, Tony, Mike, that is not what the fans want.....

13. Everybody in Hollywood got divorced because they haven't a clue what a marriage is anymore!
& those who haven't gotten divorced yet-those ladies just don't seem to know what jerks their husbands are going to be soon.

14. The GRAMMYS were announced: ??????????? Where do I start?
All I know is that DAVID GILMOUR is up for Rock Instrumental when he should've been up for Album of The Year.. But he better win that...& if the DIXIE CHICKS don't get everything after all they've been through then this country really does SUCK now! & Wolfmother has to take that one home!
AND once again the Grannys can't seem to nominate any female rockers in to their own freakin' categories so they squeezed it into what they call the crappy Rock Solo Performance, which are full of dumb guys, like that means anything. Assholes! They couldn't nominate Lisa Marie Presley, Beth Hart, KT Tunstall or all who had amazing songs out this year, NO!
These ladies aren't good enough & the ones who are are all pop. ? Where did that come from?

15. The beautiful & gorgeous DENNIS DEYOUNG who's written claasy songs about classy LADYs all his life went & sang that particular song to a bunch of whores! [ok some not all!] All who, for some reason were all dressed like 'MISS AMERICA'??? Of course, it wasn't his fault, but were they trying to say something????????

16. I got a myspace page &
I got hacked ..........EEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!

17. I wasted 13 weeks of my life [actually 8] watching RockStar: Stupidnova with a horrendous back-up band who actually had decent Lady singers & one amazing power in DILANA, for them to pick a dork who no one could understand one word of his singing, if that's what you called it....for that- they sold 17,000 copies of their new record....

18. We lost some good drummers this year....
SANDY WEST,
PIP PYLE
Dave Mount-MUD,
Fred Marsden-GERRY & PACEMAKERS, Bruce Gary-The KNACK

while BAD ONES are still alive & making our lives miserable!!!

19. We lost SYD BARRETT! That's just wrong!

20. Van Halen has decided to put his little baby-Valerie Bertinelli's son, in VH as their new bassist.. which is actually a good thing [keep it in the family ok, I get it.. unlike some people....] ....he has also swallowed his crap & also decided to take back good 'ole David Lee Roth, which is sort of also a good thing.... what's bad about this??? [Even though I've made no inkling that I'm a VH fan but a serious DLR person....I have been a huge fan of the fight!] but the bad thing is, I can tell you now, with a great amount of knowledge of how these loonys work, that DLR will in NO WAY go back to them UNLESS [here's the bad part] the old bassist returns..... EEEEEEWWWWWWW!!!!!



Now here come my wishes for the
NU YEAR!
Should I even attempt this.....

1. I WISH...... Bondork face would retire &put us all of us out of our misery.....apparently 100,000,000 Bon Dork-vi Fans CAN Be Wrong!!!

2. I WISH......STEVE HOWE would forget about YES & stay in ASIA!!

3. I WISH......More crazy chicks like Michelle Branch would lose their minds & figure out what music really is about-or put us all out of our misery & just stop! [i.e.: Nelly F, Gwen, Janet, ...., etc...
3 1/2. I WISH.....Gwen Stefani will NOT release her new record....

4. I WISH......all these so-called 'hunks'[UGH!! BLEECH!! YUK!! throw-up, whatever!] PITT, CRUISE, LAW would just go away!! & make room for REAL MEN!

5. I WISH..... TREVOR RABIN would stop making soundtracks for a second & go back to YES!!!

6. I WISH.....QUEEN would make SOLO ALBUMS!!! That would be AMAZING! or that JOHN DEACON would go back to them. They need him desperately!!

7. I WISH.....STEVE HACKETT would beat some sense into GENESIS & tell them to make the music they should be making!

8. I WISH.....JY & Tommy would stop trying to be STYX.....

9. I WISH.....ANIMAL & DR. TEETH & the ELECTRIC MAYHEM would make a comeback!!! They'll blow everyone away & we won't even need to be any other bands!

10. I WISH.....these bands would do away with their very bad drummers: HEART, CHICAGO, STYX...do I have to go on?????

11. I WISH.....every band would stop playing their songs slow as if they are about to fall asleep!!!! the ROLLING STONES still play their songs at TOP SPEED!! or proper speed, not like ballads!! & they're 100 years old! SO QUIT IT!!!! Even WILLIE NELSON still plays his songs properly!

12. I WISH..... my girls would kick ass next year: QRT!!!!!

13. I WISH.....I wish PINK FLOYD would put their 1/2's back together.....

14. I WISH.....that VH1's next DIVAS show would have real singers like BONNIE TYLER, KIM CARNES, BETH HART, SASS JORDAN, BONNIE & BEKKA BRAMLETT, & GRACE SLICK & have killer tributes to LAURA BRANIGAN & WENDY O.WILLIAMS & RUBY STARR !!! Now that's a dream show!!!

& that I had a new TV....

15. I WISH.....more Ladys would put down the acoustic guitar & the drum machines & play something real!

I know I should wish for better stuff but it'll take up more pages....so I'm done for this year...but I bet something stupid will happen before this year is done & if it's interesting enough I'll put it down...if not, I'm off to get me some DICK [CLARK that is on New Years Rockin' Eve!!]

HAPPY HAPPY
luv, ROZZIE BEAR
........................