Friday, July 31, 2009


RAIN RAIN DON'T GO AWAY..............
Do June showers bring July rain???? It seems to in this town. It also seems that it's not just here that it's raining. We're hardly having normal baseball because of this. Yet everyone is depressed, sad, wet. Why? Because of the rain. It has rained more in these few months than it has for the past 5 years. Summer clocked in on June 20th, 2009. Not a day over 80 degrees had been clocked yet. Rain,rain, rain has continued since then & it started when? In April, when the proper 'showers/flowers' saying is apropos. [??]
Did May bring the roses? Nope! More rain. Everyone is sick of it. Nothing can be done. No one can go anywhere, it sucks. Let's talk about rain shall we? Happy
Bunny & I seem to have an affinity for days like this. Yes, it may be depressing , it may be bleech....but for my latest double whammy BLEECH here, I think I'll start with rain & end with some dirt.... look out, the July version later may not be for all the kiddies. There's my warning. That's all you're getting. But it'll still be fun if you wish to read it......

I used to hate the rain. Wearing a giant plastic bag over you is so not sexy. But tell me, who really has to go out in the rain? You don't have to. AT ALL! If you don't want to. Unless: 1: You work...2: You're stuck somewhere & suddenly get caught in it.... or 3: You are just insane! For drivers are told it is NEVER good to drive because of slippery roads or puddles or basically crashing into some other car you can't see because of the fog. Yet people do it anyway. Maybe not because they have to but they do. Of course work is always the catalyst. Yet what if you don't have to work. Do you stay home & avoid the wetness? Now there's that chance of a cold. Big deal. Take an Alka-Seltzer [Cold Medicine not the other death one!] & it's gone. Yes, I got the remedial allergy attack & it was hell for months, but this started in the winter. Yet when it came to the rain, if it wasn't extremely cold or dangerous, I found the rain lately to be quiet peaceful & as of late, extremely romantic.

One game the Yankees played under this crazy June rain actually did get played after a slight delay with the Mets in Shea Stadium. But not before the clouds above turned an eerie shot of blood red. It was the scariest sky you probably ever saw in your life. It would've sent any spacemen running. Or anyone else believing we'd been attacked by a nuclear cloud. Yet there was something beautiful about it. No one was afraid, no one moved or even cared. Everyone stayed, the game went on & so did this sky. It was as if the strangest sunset had just appeared, almost seeming like it just lost it's yellow color & just started to bleed in a very artsy way. It was one hell of a sight. The game has been aired since. You should try to check this out if you think you may ever see a sky like that again. For a minute I was afraid. There was no rain at that point, but it looked like some kind of warning. Though it seemed like it was just a higher power making a statement. What statement you say??? 'Not everything I do has to be yellow'! No. Oh well, but it was something special. Yet it has rained for almost 5 straight months.
Summer seems to be here but I will tell you right now has not even started yet. It should start something before Halloween, when MAYBE we'll hit 90 degrees [& maybe winter will start next May, so break out the tanning lotion on Christmas!!].

I've been dreaming of the rain. If rain can be like it is in the movies, who wouldn't want to have it all the time? You're out with the one you love & suddenly get caught in the rain. You do want to get wet, in more ways than one. Its a beautiful feeling. The thunder has been louder than usual & there's something even more pleasant about that. Although it has it's danger [no one wants to get struck by lightning, this is when -yes- you should stay home & not be in a damn car, unless you are 'creative', inside joke kiddies...!-haha!]. You do dream of being on a beach & making love in the rain. It's a nice thought & if it's happened for you-good for you ! But rain isn't what it used to be when we were little & afraid.

I remember almost every song that would play everytime it would rain & I hated them all & I never wanted to hear them again because it scared me & I thought that everytime i'd hear it, it would rain. Never mind the dumb songs that have been written in tribute to rain, some of which are horrendous [do I have to name them? Riders on the Storm?? Come on!!!] . I could swear to you , everytime I would hear Nights In White Satin by the Moody Blues, it would always, always rain & guess when the thunder would come- just in time when he would start speaking: 'Breathe deep the gathering gloom'.... Though there is no mention of rain in
this song whatsoever, it was the most frightening thing I'd ever been through in my life. I would cry & scream & freak. Not to mention the other songs that would always play in the rain, but that one was the main one that stuck out & that I remember. I also recall finally getting over this when I did finally hear that song & it didn't rain, when I saw the video. I still wasn't too convinced though. What did convince me was going to see the Moody Blues after finally falling in love with them, at an outside pier in concert. They played the song live & it didn't rain. I almost wished it had.

The 2 other fantastic rain experiences I've had have been at concerts. Getting completely soaked during a Steve Miller Band show at Jones Beach, NY was the most fun I've ever had in the rain. Steve had the gall to ask US!!! if he should stop. WE SAID NO!!!!!!!!! & he ROCKED!!! Then years later, seeing the great Sass Jordan sing live at the South Street Seaport. An outdoor show, where the band is always protected to a certain extent. Where you can see boats pass by & watch the sunset. She has a song called Pissin' Down, which isn't about rain either. Yet the minute she sang it, it began to rain & gave the song the perfect new meaning it should've had in the first place [it's an addiction song]. It drove me to tears, especially since she screams the chorus quite loudly with all her guts! Very inspiring & something I will never forget.

There is something special about rain. It tends to clear the roads & your head quite nicely. I remember when we were in a drought & didn't have any at all which was quite frightening as well. There are the awful songs that have since come out about the rain that I just have no use for. The rain is to be appreciated & it should have a proper song written for it so quit making up stupid ones just to mention the word 'rain' jerks! If you're with someone you love, look at the rain & try to go out, you will have fun. Looking at the rain & even hearing it on my window sill has given me a sense of peace I haven't felt in a long time. I will always welcome it, especially since it's been happening more often than normal lately [maybe because these space loons keep sending crap up there & screwing up or weather!] , the only time I don't welcome it is when it disrupts my Yankee game.

The 10 Best Rain Songs EVER!!!
1. One Rainy Wish-BRIAN MAY [it doesn't mention rain but it'll rip your guts off!]
3.Pissin' Down-SASS JORDAN [listen to it in the rain & die!, no rain lyric either.]
4. It Never Rains In Southern California/Moonlight Lady-ALBERT HAMMOND/JULIO IGLESIAS [2 different songs almost 20 years apart that were both written by Albert & pay tribute to each other, awesome!]
5. Lizzie & The Rain Man- TANYA TUCKER [crazy song about a dude who makes it rain somehow!]
6. Here Comes The Rain Again-EURYTHMICS [-just brutal!]
7. Summer Rain-BELINDA CARLISLE [very cool & sad...]

8. Laughter In The Rain-NEIL SEDAKA [yeah that's right! romantic!]
9. Kiss Me In The Rain-BARBRA STREISAND [she actually did this whole album -WET-1982 about rain & water, wild!]
10. It's Raining Again-SUPERTRAMP [a song I hated for years because of it's disturbing video, but it's perfect!]



So it's July & it's still raining. So what do you think I'm thinking about? Old Timer's Day!! & the Rain, together?? That makes for a good old time in my book! The Yankees had their annual celebration of past Yankee playing greats together for the yearly get together, where they reminisce & play the shortest game ever. WHy? Because half these guys are so old they can't play anymore, but they still are cool! This is a day I live for. A perfect man hunt. Hee hee. What do I care about these new Yanks, this is my day. I'm not an Old Timer yet but that's my favorite time of the year. As I love all Old Timers. They're so yummy & have more experience. Even though some of these boys are a little out of my league, its still a wonderful historic thing to watch. I had the worst seats ever but I got to see my beautiful Gene Michael! [my seat should've been on his lap!] Wow,he is still adorable after all these years. I wonder if he likes the rain... which brings me to my bleech point which is quite frisky.

I read something recently that had a list of the Worst Dirty Songs Ever. Dirty songs meaning that they either have suggestive lyrics about sex or mention sex in some hideously unpleasant way. Yet all the songs mentioned have only been released in the last 10 years. Meaning lately so-called 'new artists' or 'artists' as of late have taken to releasing the most crass, disturbing songs that have the most insane lyrics you could think of, to, of course, sell records. Records they seriously think are going to make ladys just run to these idiots, which of course, is a joke. Yet the problem with these songs is 1- the artists are so bad that it doesn't seem to matter who comes & goes as long as the song has what they think is 'something'; 2: the music is so bad that believe it or not NO ONE is actually listening at all to what they are dancing to or what they're singing if they can actually 3: Make out what some of these 'singers' are saying in these awful songs. So what is the problem??? The problem is radio or whoever is playing this crap is flooded with these 'kind' of songs & the parents are all freaking because only THEY are listening to the actual words & that's sad. Case in point: If You Seek Amy by Britney Spears which is probably the worst record ever & just adds to her worst collection of crap. It has a 'hidden meaning' if you haven't figured it out already it's supposed to mean f.u.c.k in full spelling. Stupidity right? This had already been done by a few rock bands so who cares, but of course, the parents can't have the kiddies listening to this. So they tried to get it banned. Only to have 1- fans buy it more 2- her make a 'clean' video for to hide the meaning 3-to just make her more famous. Sick!. I would've just banned it for being crap & not original, certainly not for that. But that's just me.

When Tipper Gore ran her stupidity that was the PMRC banning the worst songs on the planet. That is exactly what she did. She banned the worst songs on the planet that no one ever heard of until she told everyone about them. [ I still would like to know how the hell she got her hands on any W.A.S.P. record & there's no way in hell her kids were listening to them for shit!]. She threw down every stupid shenanigan ever for trying to 'clean up' music. To keep bringing it up is still unbelievable. SHE is the reason everyone is buying all of this crap you hear now because no one can get enough of these awful pathetic songs since they all have 'her' WARNING LABELS' all over them. This has gotten so bad it has caused these really bad artists to lately, make not one bad version of the dirty record but 2 versions so that you can actually get a clean bad record without the smut. Like that is going to change how sucky the record is!!!!!! WASP would've never done this [I'm being sarcastic kiddies, but then they really wouldn't have ever made a clean anything of theirs & they really sucked!].

I personally think there are way better songs like 'this'. That are way more creative, suggestive, exciting & ok dirty, but not too dirty. But have a certain amount of class that doesn't make you feel sick, embarrassed or corrupted, as these other crappy songs do. [Crap is the only perfect word I can think of for these Bad songs, not just bad dirty, bad sucky!] the operative word is 'feel good. Feel good music. If you want to feel good like that if you must, that's ok. But do it right! Also, saying a 'bad' word isn't going to help either. Alanis Morrisette made a killing with this on her 'You Outta Know' record of course. Everyone bought this not just because she was whining but it had the word 'fuck' in it. Who cares? OK no one ever heard that word before in a record but then no one heard it unless you bought the record since it got cut out everywhere. So how were you supposed to know that she said that? You hadda know?? Get real. If you must this word it should make some sense in a song & not just for a sexual reason. In Miss Alanis' case it was completely sexual. In Pink Floyd's case: Not Now John from The Final Cut...the female background singers are clearly heard to be singing 'Fuck all that'! It makes sense, they are making a statement & in no way are speaking of sex. I guess Alanis was making her own statement, don't screw with her or someone else??? OK. Whatever!

Alright, so Alanis isn't Pink Floyd. Why not? Pink Floyd's not dirty either, they're just pissed & really that's all we want. But then we wouldn't mind a little action either. As exampled in their brilliant Young Lust from THE WALL. Back then this might've been considered 'dirty' because the chorus goes 'Oooooooooo I need a dirty woman, I need a dirty gal.'.. yet the way David Gilmour sings that you so wanna get dirty for him. This is a perfect example of a dirty song that's not so dirty. It's fun, it's exciting, it's part of a whole other crazy story but it kicks ass. That is all we want. Yes, I enjoyed songs where I had no idea what they were saying. But at some point you will find out & what you're singing just might shock you. So here are my favorites & my only wish for this very sexy rainy July is that no more bad awful songs come out because you're just going to disappear without a trace.

THE BEST 'DIRTY' SONGS EVER....or 'DO IT' SONGS... [I shall explain their dirtiness for the kiddies... & give warnings where warranted...feel free to send in your list, but watch it, if I hate it & it sucks, I will tell you!]
Smut rating:
A- classy-nothing bad B/C/D- slighly smutty E/F-watch it....smutty

Now this song has just the coolest romantic vibe about it, yet you clearly understand what it's about, if you can understand what Mavis Staples is saying at all. If the fact that her Dad coming in & singing this with her doesn't creep you out, then this is a really cool song to get romantic to.

Wow, just the way she sings it, it should be banned. But the fantastic way Ann Wilson just screams 'I ain't ever been here before'... is just brutal..nothing smutty about it just exciting as hell. Very classy. It just feels dirty!

This song is as dirty as is gets but it's listenable. Just beautiful.

David Bowie put the loudest greatest band ever together & just released the loudest wildest songs ever. Just loud fun! The dude's perspective.

5. SEX [I'M A....]-BERLIN: Rating-D/E
This song has Terri Nunn & her co-hort losing their minds to the point of making noises people, but it's not so bad! So be warned, she names just about everything in the book she could possibly be to this man to turn him on. A slut, a bitch, bi...etc... & what does he say he is? A man... big deal right? It's quite vicious, especially the live version.

Her version is much more satisfying than hearing a convicted molester sing it. It just rocks!

This song is so classy it's ridiculous. Another romantic wild song.

Now what do you think he wants?? SO what, it's a beautiful song by Bad Company, very classy, till Queen got a hold of it, then just made it dirtier. WOW!

Everyone knows this song, its fun, its sick, if you really think about it. They're obsessed with each other, but the music kicks.

Ok this is mega-dirty if you get it...if you can hear the short version you won't get so sick, it's just so funny & bad it's hilarious...

Honorable Mentions:
Dedication-Lita Ford: Rating C
Flesh For Fantasy-Billy Idol: Rating E
Love Token-Brian May: Rating D
In The Bush-Musique: Rating F
X Offender-Blondie: Rating C
Physical-Olivia Newton John: Rating C
Sometimes A Fantasy-Billy Joel: Rating C

Have a good summer whenever it the meantime have as much fun as you can in the rain.......


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