Monday, September 19, 2005
FAKE PIANO CHICKS SUCK!!! SO DOES VAN HALEN!!
Mercy, mercy me- WHEN WILL IT END??? I just got thru watching another horrible video from some new awful chick trying to play piano & thinking she's doing something great!!! I got the new girl's name but I don't even want to mention her on my little blog, but I swear! - If anyone asks for their names I will gladly answer this blog with the culprits!! [Besides if you'd like a clue, she sounds just like every other dumb blond broad out there & she thinks she's playing piano like the other annoying piano chick.] It's like there's a record company scuzzoid bum taking little girls & telling them why don't we give you a piano you can sit on & look cute??? People will dig it ! [Yeah, they'll think you're talented!!] I don't get it. Now it's the poor piano that seems to be getting tortured by these stupid little broads! [The big one- who is so popular now, who annoyed us with her very annoying 1st record- who has been playing every major benefit in recent days is probably on her 3rd album of playing the same piano chords as her 1st 2 records & people just seem to love her. I don't know why because she sucks!!]. Unfortunately, they all sound like Phil Collins trying to play piano [sorry Phil-stick to the drums-PLEASE!!]. But I'd still rather hear Phil play than these little chicks, at least he does something viable with it!!
The whole point of this is that I just don't understand what these girls are thinking [I never use that term, they are in no way close to being what my site calls a LADY!!]. I'm sure [at least I hope!] That these girls do play the piano, is what they do with it that sends me skyhigh!! There is no point in playing an instrument if you are not going to do something a special with it, so LEAVE IT ALONE & STOP MAKING US REAL MUSICIANS LOOK BAD!!! All I want is for the LADYS out there to play an instrument & rock!- NOT to sound like these little broads. What is the point of this???? It's no wonder why we don't have a keyboardist in our band. But I can assure you if we did [ & we do!-Ha!], it ain't gonna sound anything like that.
There are little girls all over the world seeing this & thinking that this is cool. WELL IT"S NOT!!!! I PROTEST !! I want all these little chicks banished from the planet unless they decide to learn what REAL MUSIC IS!! This is what Dr. Righteous is actually against!! Dumb little broads playing awful pop music with an instrument that should be banned for life!!! This is wrong. This shouldn't be happening, but for the last 5 years, these fake piano chicks have been taking over our lives. Tori Amos is a total Kate Bush rip-off but at least she really plays piano & can be considered a real keyboardist if so out to the test [no where near Kate Bush of course!!! I swear if any of these chicks get vote best keyboardist for the year there will be hell to pay!! [Girls-save us the trouble of torturing you later- If you don't seriously think about what kind of music you really want to bring into this world for us to listen to & have something significant to say-do not even think of picking up an instrument.] Take them all away already. I'd personally love to get these girls in a room with Kate Bush & Christine McVie & see if they really know a chord or 2! Our own Miss ANjy could waste these little chicks with her pinky! [So could I- by the way!]
Which brings me to the subject of VH. I'm going to initial their name because it's too long already. Believe it or not quite coincidentally thru no fault of my own- this subject pertains to them. They SUCK! Here's why. [the reason I bring them up is because I was just watching one of their vids as well] In 1984- when they were just maybe- kinda- sort of -slightly?? getting cool? They released a vid & song called 'Jump'. This was the year that Yes, Genesis, Queen, Asia & Styx were huge-mongoid!! 'Jump' featured the 1st time Mr. VH himself played keyboard on their song. For this, he won Best Keyboardist of the Year in every damn poll-ok! OVER - TONY KAYE, TONY BANKS, FREDDIE MERCURY, GEOFF DOWNES & DENNIS DEYOUNG!!! OK!! That's sick! I'm not exactly sure the reason for this, BUT I have a few. 1- Metal-heads at the time hated Progressive Rock so much that they were happy one of their own metal-heads [VH -believe it or not!] learned to play so they voted for him because it was easy for them & they didn't know what the word keyboardist meant anyway & didn't even realize their metalhead decided to play that on a POP record which they hate even more than progressive rock!! 2-Of course, there were pop-sters who didn't know what that was either & just dug how cool the song sounded & said yeah let's vote for him. [Note: I don't think the song is bad myself!-I love David Lee Roth-but more on that later!] My point- this was not real keyboard playing. But alas it won & when they started to get slightly mega-cooler they kicked out David Lee Roth.
Now, let's really get our brains in order here shall we?? All you VH fans? Why do you like VH?? Is it because of David Lee??? Sammy Hagar?? [yeah, right!]Gary Cherone???? NO! Its because of Eddie VH. His guitar playing. Right?? [please- there are much better guitarists in this world!-including the 5 I just named above] But whatever -if he must play- he must play!] It's not because of his voice, because I'll tell you right now, him & that whole band are surely the worst background singers of all time! Never in any song have I heard such screeching & some idiots were even making fun of how Linda McCartney used to sing back-up for her man? At least she even played better keys than VH & any of these dumb chicks. Why can't they just save us the trouble of them fighting over singers & just be an instrumental band?? Wouldn't you all be happy about that??? That way they can put us all out of our misery & stop singing or letting someone else mess up the ok songs they might've had! That I actually mind. But enough with Sammy & leave Dave alone. [I'm not even gonna talk about poor Gary]. So until that happens, they suck!
Daria quote of the week:
" My old soul has already made your aquaintence in a previous lifetime!"