I didn't think I missed anything since nothing happened or did it???? But in the days during Turkey day, you turkeys!, quite a lotta shit happened & yes I have to use that word so get over it!
Here goes my Thanx for not only y'all who've read my bleech [my followers especially] in the last year but the madness in which I have been able to accomplish this, just when I keep thinking it's going to suck, it just sort of actually kinda works. Thanx....
1st of all: THANX: to HAPPY BUNNY, for not only making these last 2 years complete bliss for me [I have my own yummy bunny that's been keeping me very happy this past year & I'm extremely grateful to no end...] & my bleech, but for adding the touch it needed. Yet since I'm thinking of retiring the cute little thingy from here [boo-hoo! sob! ugh!], I'm not exactly sure how I will continue this without the magic bunny, who has given me nothing but sheer happiness. I luv u Happy Bunny, you're totally Sick & amazing! [Would like help in what to replace it with....]
THANX: to LITA FORD for coming back & still looking amazing & putting on one of the greatest concerts of the year.....& having a Xmas song too. Ultimate. She was what this world was missing! Let's hope the movie about her old band the Runaways does her justice.
THANX: to GUNS 'N' ROSES for biting the big one! We're still not sure who's left, but if Buckethead isn't even there anymore [if only to hear the loon's name, which has to be the all time funniest rock name EVER!], than there shouldn't have been ANY point Axl! Even more sad is getting beat by Kane W.
BONUS POINTS: For Velvet Revolver & Stone Temple Pilots for not being able to figure out who the hell they are, what they are or who they want to be, especially in the band. Wait....aren't they all the same band? Let's just hope Buckethead gets something outta this. Maybe he'll join the Black Velveetas....
THANX: to Jennifer Aniston for taking back the dork who thought he could actually dump her. Idiot! I don't know how she did it, but no other chick would want to handle his boring ass. Maybe if she can really tame him we'll never have to hear his whiny voice again. Ugh...
THANX: To everyone including Paul McCartney, who vehemently protested the 'New Led Zep', which would've been hilarious. This came outta nowhere!
Page & Jones wouldn't have DARED to try that one. I love that they did try. I'm still voting for COVERDALE! Now that should be Zep again if not for a laugh as good as BUCKETHEAD.
THANX: TO THE IMMORTAL QUEEN + PAUL RODGERS FOR COMING BACK!! I will say it for as long as your hands bleed from typing or writing to me telling me I'm insane!! IT WORKS SO BACK OFF!!! The COSMOS ROCKS does ROCK!! GET IT!! AS LONG AS BRIAN MAY & ROGER TAYLOR LIVE TO STILL BE ABLE TO TOUCH THEIR INSTRUMENTS THEY MUST NOT STOP!! You'd rather have George 'toilet jailbird' Michael join??
There are only 3 things wrong with this entire thing: 1: That JOHN DEACON isn't there----PLEEEAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSEEEEEEEEE COME BACK JOHN!!!!
2: That they even have the gall to do the 'song' "BAD COMPANY' live'. That's just mean. Not only to poor Simon Kirke who is beyond amazing & is the coolest drummer ever, but the fact that it sounds better, since Brian & Roger beat the shit out of that [Feel Like Makin' Love should NEVER EVER be done by Bad Company EVER AGAIN because of this, this song now COMPLETELY BELONGS TO QUEEN !!!!!!! all it needs is JOHN DEACON!! I think I'm gonna faint!!! ] & QUEEN ISN'T BAD COMPANY!! &
3: That BRIAN & ROGER DON"T SING LEAD MORE!!! That's pathetic. The new songs are amazing but if Brian & Roger had some lead time they would sound so much more kickin'. But I will be forever grateful to Paul for keeping my boys together so screw what everyone else says!!! Also Remember kiddies: be glad that they are not Journey, the new Led Zep, the last Judas Priest & the new YES!!! You know they have a lot more class than that! Also they're not called QUEEN OK!!! It's QUEEN +PAUL RODGERS!!! DUMMIES!!!
THANX: To JON ANDERSON for basically kicking Chris Squire's giant ass about HIS YES!!!! Alongside Chris, we all now how tiny Jon is next to him, so for him to have pulled off making the lunatics not go out as Yes after they didn't seem to give a crap that he became extremely ill is just his mystical magic work at its best. All that Yogi stuff paid off big time! Topped off by that beautiful pissed off letter he wrote to everyone was remarkable. You still got it Jon!! That is precision & the way to fight for your band even when you can't!!! Remember kiddies: Jon could've taken the School Of Rock kids out as Yes & THAT WOULD'VE BEEN MORE YES THAN THIS & no one would've said a word!! Not even Chris.
THANX: To the bEAGLES for keeping my new found hatred for them alive. This because on the actually all-cool very country CMA Awards while everyone donned their country outfits looking how they were supposed to, the Eagles, who have forever sounded country & even looked country on their Hell Freezes Over Tour with their classic sexy-ass denim [which pissed me off at the time because I thought they would've dressed up-EVEN THOUGH THEY LOOKED GOOD!! my bad!] look, they go & dress up like tuxedoed corporate lawyers at a meeting that looked like it'd taken place at a music store & just decided to start playing & bring their corporate stock broker dork friends with them in place of Don Felder. [I'm referring to the 2000 loons they had up there playing every instrument the Eagles themselves used to once play...] WHAT THE HELL????????????????????
THANX: To my great friend Ronald Vaughan for trusting me with part of his fantastic archives. I'm beyond honored....
THANX: to SHERYL CROW for making every effort in the world to TRY to get into FLEETWOOD MAC & not succeeding. She still has a chance, if Buckingham decides to keep his big mouth shut. Since her music has become useless to date, it would be good for her to join them, if only to make better music. Let's hope Stevie puts her foot down & takes her, otherwise CHRISTINE PLEASE COME BACK!!
THANX: to Blender Magazine for actually being ok, especially for their lists. When Rolling Stone decided to shrink, they officially went on the bad magazine list, seemingly making Blender become cool, despite who they cover.
THANX: to , TOM JONES & PAUL MCCARTNEY for still being classy after all these years!!!
THANX: to my bud , former writer of Time magazine & one of the most respected authors of all time, for releasing the fiction book BEET about why I never went to college & why it sucks & just being completely insane... It's hilarious & it's coming out on paperback next year [month -whatever you wanna call it] READ IT!! I luv u Roger!.
THANX: BEST CONCERTS OF 8:
BONNIE TYLER-BB KINGS
LITA FORD-BB KINGs
RINGO STARR & ALL STARRS-RADIO CITY [besides having a horrendous drummer]
CARE BEARS ON FIRE-TRIBECA Y
Happy Eats you Turkeys.....you can never give enough thanx.......
scroll kiddies...there's more........
WHAT A WAY 2 GO/PRE-DICK-SHUNS 4 THE 9S:
December??? Damn!! When did that get here so fast? I guess at Thanksgiving. Gee. Can you slow down a bit? Complaints, complaints, complaints. That's all I seem to hear about lately, it's sickening. People just love to complain & not do anything about it, or better yet go on until they annoy you to oblivion. So why can't I do the same thing? Isn't that what life's about???
OK so let's send Double -08 out in style & bring in the 9s. Here's to what's happened & what may happen if this world is worth anything.........
MAY HAPPEN: the band Creed is threatening our very existence by getting back together. As with the Led Zep controversy this must NOT HAPPEN! They have forever said they are doing this for the Lord. Now we know this is blatant blasphemy. Since we know God's favorite band is & will always be QUEEN!. SO maybe God will see the good in this not happening & stop this insanity before we hear the crooning of Scott Stapp's drunken onstage preaching.
MAY HAPPEN: PINK FLOYD's respect for their legacy continues, even after the death of their 2 leaders. Yes leaders: Richard Wright & Syd Barrett, the reining Kings of the Floyd are gone so Pink Floyd is gone. Even as they made this constantly clear, everyone wishes they will still tribute them by reuniting in some way. Of course, this is NOT GONNA HAPPEN! But who knows how heartbroken they may be & may actually put on one show for their leaders which would be nice, but nothing more than that. It would be surprising, but no point without that 'evil Ricky sound'. No one should have to duplicate that. The only reason for them to play together again would be of Kate Bush happens to decide to ever tour or play a show again. Now that would be a perfect band for her. That MAY HAPPEN.....you never know.
MAY HAPPEN: GARY MOORE somehow lost a battle of someone accusing him of ripping off a solo. Just a solo no less. Not lyrics, an entire song, or a melody but an ENTIRE SOLO!!! This is the strangest precedent I've ever heard in my life. A song no one ever heard of for one thing, even if they did, Gary Moore is one of the only original guitarists left in this world so there would be no reason in the world for him to rip off anyone, even though all he does is blues music now, yet fantastically. He apparently can appeal this which MAY HAPPEN & must. If not just to save his reputation, which really isn't in danger of being destroyed because he is so amazing & I don't think anyone cares, but for the fact that this can set off a whole chain of events which I admit I personally wouldn't mind seeing. SO that would mean that Oasis can get sued by the Beatles for trying to sound exactly like them, it's still a wonder why they still exist in the 1st place. Or any 80s bad metal band can get sued by Deep Purple's Ian Gillian for all trying to sound exactly like him? Ripping off his sound, right? That is the equivalent of ripping off an exact solo, yes? What I'd give to see all these bad new singers just disappear off the planet by a lawsuit. If it were only that easy. For that, Courtney Love should sue Amy Winehouse for being a bad version of her. Or the Pussycat Dolls for being an absolute slutty version of the Spice Girls. [I have no idea who was before that, the Supremes??] It would be interesting. MAY HAPPEN!!
MAY HAPPEN: The Grammy Nominations were announced. Yes, I wait for this, yes, I'm gonna see it, yes, it's important to see who you don't like LOSE!!!! Not who you like win because that's NOT GONNA HAPPEN!!! BUT!!! In this case there's a lot riding on this one & I'm so going to be right there. I will take wagers from anyone!!! :
1st off: The GILMOUR/RUSH SHOWDOWN!! One of them may win. I believe they were nominated in this same category once before & both lost. But once again Best Rock Instrumental rules with a nomination each for David Gilmour & Rush. A win for them MAY HAPPEN! Because we can't see anyone else here getting this [although they might get creamed with Zappas]. [The fact that Bruce Springsteen who's never done an instrumental in his life, decides to do one last year, gets nominated in that category for the 1st time & wins it because the Grammy people are idiots is just another brain-dead sample of why they can't understand why people hate them! ] So it's time for Gilmour or Rush, doesn't matter, but it would be nice if Gilmour got it, if only to hear him praise Mr. Wright for being on the song, even though he's so not going....you never know....
2nd off: BATTLE OF OLDER VS. OLD: Robert Plant is up for his really cool album with his little girlfriend Country star Allison Krauss. The bEagles are up for their new record. What's the difference??? Robert Plant over the years acquired something called CLASS!!! He is aging gracefully-musically! [looks is a different story] so he's an older elder statesman! Even he is sick of singing his own Zep songs, this makes him cool! Therefore he is being labelled as the Grammys OLD choice to give the Grammy to. This is NOT CORRECT. If the Eagles were up for Album of the Year [which they are NOT THANK GOD!-either way they would lose to Plant] that would be an old choice. Since the Eagles have not acquired the class they so have been trying to achieve since they got rid of their amazing lead guitarist Don Felder. They just made themselves OLD!! Since then they have gone out of their way to try to prove they're still cool, even by trying to stop the release of his awesome tell-all Heaven & Hell. Yes they made a new album, but are aging most ungratefully & therefore are the old choice, nor do they have an iota of class anymore. Robert Plant actually made a good record, a record worth listening to. The Eagles made a record but then took 20 guys out to play it for them. When did they need to take another band out with them to be the Eagles when they were the Eagles? This shows no class. So while the Eagles might win [& unfortunately I still think Frey & Henley are kinda cute...the bums!!!], it MAY HAPPEN!, they are the OLD choice, since there really isn't anyone else in that category anyway to give it to, Plant & Ms. Krauss are the class choice, which means they are taking that show back to the stratosphere.
3rd off: BRITS vs. USA: OK, I've long put on the table that the brits have put out way better music than Americans lately, why is that? It's like Hollywood now. All the American actors in these new cool shows are BRITISH!! Eli Stone, House, Mentalist [Aussie]. Its a fact, being an American has sucked for a very long time, in music & movies. Half the lead awards nominated are from Brits. Not that the records are any good but they aren't very American. Except Robert Plant's. Go figure. Being with his American lady hit that nail, so of course he's going to get that & it won't count. And I long thought that Coldplay & Radiohead were the same Brit band. So all this is going to prove is to get those 2 horrid bands in the same room to prove they're not the same guys..YUK! I know they're both going to lose.....MAY HAPPEN...you never know...
Having said this there is still a whole month left & more stupid things MAY HAPPEN! Yet since the month & the year is almost over Here are my Pre-Dick-Shuns for the year coming as all these other idiots are making their deadbeat idiotic ridiculous predictions for the Nu Year, that I think WILL HAPPEN!!...:
WILL HAPPEN: John Deacon will pull a Duran Roger Taylor move on QUEEN [which will be hilarious considering that their drummers both have the same name] & return to that band after finally getting sick of his home life as Roger of Duran did. Word is that after Sir Duran boy left years ago, singer Simon LeBon called him everyday since asking him to come back to which he replied everytime with a sheer NO! Yet 5 years ago he finally said Yes & has been there since. So there is hope for John Deacon & Queen, he just needs a little more time, if not, one of his kids has got to be able to play bass already....you never know.....
WILL HAPPEN: Whoever's left in Guns'n'Roses, Velvet Revolver & Stone Temple Pilots will do a 3 day tour of Japan & call themselves Talk Show with special guest Buckethead & whatever the hell the Page & Jones call their new boys in tribute to Coverdale/Page!
WILL HAPPEN: Dennis DeYoung, Steve Perry, Peter Cetera & Jon Anderson will do a full out leaders tour & call themselves YES US! :the Dude Divas as in us & for the USA. They will blow their former bands off the charts, tell them where they can Styk it & it will be the most successful tour of the year. Theie band will consist of Simon Kirke on drums, Mark-Younger Smith & Lincoln Brewster on gtr [the 2 geniuses who kicked Steve Stevens [Billy Idol] & Neal Schon [Journey] in their asses!!] with Dennis & Peter on keys & bass respectively, add a couple of extra School of Rock ladys on xtra keys & bass & that would make one sick band.
WILL HAPPEN: Since Joss Stone, Amy Winehouse, Sheryl Crow, Jewel, Duffy & Beyonce have all but destroyed our hopes of hearing any kind of real singing & good songs again, BONNIE TYLER, KIM CARNES, SASS JORDAN, PAT BENATAR & CHER will play an all-out screamfest of a show called the REAL VH1 DIVAS!! & PUT ALL THESE LITTLE BITCHES IN THEIR PLACE!! Guest starring the original country ladys of rock: Grace Slick, Olivia Newton John, Tanya Tucker & Linda Ronstadt plus Joan Osborne & Lisa Marie Presley to the screamfest. Their band will consist of Nancy Wilson & Marcy Detroit Levy on gtr, Suzi Quatro on bass & Toni Tennille & Christine McVie on keys with Moi! on drums..., Gina Schock & maybe Sheila E! They will end with a tribute to the late Laura Branigan & encore with a screeching version of Gloria!! [one can only hope!]
WILL HAPPEN: GENESIS will reunite with Peter Gabriel & Steve Hackett & play the sickest tour ever seen by man. If Phil Collins can get his chops up.
WILL HAPPEN: THE FACES will reunite with 10,000 guests bassists. It's the only way they'll get away with their reunion without late bassist Ronnie Lane. They just better get someone with class!!! I could give them 200 names who are out of work now.
WILL HAPPEN: By FAR!!!! The best story of the year, I don't care what happened to who or what president we got, Nothing!! Compares!!! TO!!! the ARETHA/TINA BATTLE!!!
Can you believe this??? There is no story in the world better than this!!! My vote for the No. 1 2008 Best Headline!!! This is the funniest thing EVER!!! Teeny Tina compared to Giant Aretha.. Is it a Battle of the voices??? No! Is it a Battle of Music??? Not even close!! Is it a battle she said/she ate??? Maybe!! But mercy, this is insane. I'm betting that since these divas have never met [which is completely unbelievable!] & their new music doesn't seem to mean much to anyone lately, that they WILL meet & have a mega-leg showdown. With Tina Turner sashaying her awesome legs around that stage while Aretha has her helpers escort her out with a chicken leg in her hand & scream how she's really the Queen. Then right before it ends Dolly Parton will take them both out with her boobs!! DONE!!!
George Michael will be arrested for toliet training....
Michael Jackson will be arrested for training....
Madonna will be arrested for doing baseball players....
Britney will be arrested for wearing pants......
Axl Rose will be arrested for going on tour......
Paris Hilton will be arrested for speaking [I wish!]
Lindsey Lohan will be arrested for going straight.....
& Motley Crue will be arrested for still being alive.....
Those are my pre-dick shuns....don't forget to watch New Year Rockin' Eve no matter how much it'll suck because Dick Clark will be there once again. It just goes to show you there'll always be a Dick around...
BEST RECORDS of 8:
[even though most qualify for 9, if next year bites, i'll put them on next years also...]
HOME AFTER DARK-NEIL DIAMOND
JUST A LITTLE LOVIN'-SHELBY LYNNE
LITTLE WILD ONE-JOAN OSBORNE
LIVE IN GDANSK-DAVID GILMOUR
SORDID LIVES-OLIVIA NEWTON JOHN
VENUS IN OVERDRIVE-RICK SPRINGFIELD
BREAK UP THE CONCRETE-PRETENDERS
GIFT OF SCREWS-LINDSEY BUCKINGHAM
We'll Miss you: RICK WRIGHT, JERRY REED, PAUL NEWMAN, .............
HAPPY NU YEAR!!!