Time goes by so fast. Who knew. Thanksgiving has come & gone & a lot of things have happened. Funny things, shocking of course, or not, depending on what constitutes shocking now or by your standards. Happy Bunny has suggested I put my criticisms in the form of a compliment. Since when?? But I'll try. Its very hard when almost everyone people seem to look up to have just lost their minds. What does that mean? They're human? They're dumb? They're not perfect. I think all of these apply. It's one thing to throw yourself out there as one thing, its another to do the exact opposite of what people are 'supposed' to think of you. How many times have you heard do look up to stars? Movie stars, not the stars above. certainly not the moon, because who knows where that is now?? [I know.....big deal...] I was going to try to throw a triple whammy bleech for you but I will be here forever if I do so I will leave you with this & throw a double on for next month as I have a lot to say apparently because I forgot something, which I will explain later!! Here's my Thanx to list...some you'll get some you may not. Whatever, I'll try to sum up this year in the form of my Thank yous with some of my favorite stories & craziness of the year.....1st of all to all who's read my bleechs & rantz & dug them, all I ask is to spread the word......THANX TO: DAVID LETTERMAN...
for still being the coolest guy on the planet. Yes, he messed around, but one would hope it was before he married. Yet still, you don't see him at Hollywood parties, he certainly doesn't buy hookers. he jokes about it but he's never been that Hollywood guy. He's just a comedian who hosts a show & happens to be hilarious. How anyone expected him to be perfect is beyond me. He's still the greatest.
THANX TO: THE MOON....
for not YET retaliating & kicking our ass because of NASA's stupidity & basically surviving their horrible attack. Not that it shouldn't but it would help if it got its facts straight. It wasn't us who wanted to do any harm to the moon. I wouldn't blame it for being upset. I know exactly where to point them. To find out if the moon had water NASA spend billions & sent a bus-sized rocket up to bruise it royally. This has to be the most shocking story of the year. As of global warming wasn't bad enough, NASA has to try to destroy what's left of space let alone the Earth. Earlier in the year they 'reported' that Jupiter had a 'scar' in the atmosphere near poor Jupiter's south pole because it'd been hit by an object or a comet. All this coming from images from their infrared telescope in Hawaii. How do we know they didn't do that themselves? the bastards!! Seems like Jupiter is going to get in on this action now. Thank God the moon is still there, I guess they saw fit to 'scar' it. Not looking too damaged. I have a word of advice for the moon: 'Talk to Pluto & now Jupiter, they're pissed off too!'
THANX TO: THE YANKEES!!...
for giving me the most exciting year of Baseball I've had in a very long time. Walk-off wins, crazy weather games, long innings, insane scoring [ala football],fights, historical games, breaking records, dumb luck, the play-offs [which will always be the PLAY-OFFS for me & not this post season crap!!] & winning the WORLD SERIES!!!!! WOW!!! WHAT A TRIP!! Crazy managing by GI JOE GIRARDI, giving them what they haven't had in a long time......BALLS!! This year almost had everything it used to have, suspense, excitement, fights!! AWESOME!! It took me forever to warm up to insane catcher Jorge Posada, with his dumb plays & sour mug but when he lost it & almost killed everybody in Toronto, that was the greatest!! They even had the nerve to make him acting manager on the last day before the playoffs, which was hilarious. I thought if anyone made a mistake he was going to lose it. But it was cool! Dancing man Mark Teixeira, I call him Shakira because he was always shaking 'it' at 1st base waiting for anything to happen. His plays over there were sick! It was like watching 3rd base King CRAIG NETTLES on 1st. Derek Jeter & y'all this one took a long time for me. But for him to give me one night of history on 999 was pretty damn cool, screw the next night when he broke it, the tie was better so HA!! & you'll never know why......[actually because they lost that night he broke it...but I have my own yummy reasons for loving that night, they didn't lose & neither did I, heehee.]. My personal thanx to probably the most outrageous psycho pitcher I've ever seen in my life. AJ BURNETT! In all my years of watching baseball I've never seen anything like him. He's completely focused,doesn't move, isn't twitchy, he's completely still & when he fires...he's just psycho! Just incredible. That man is something special & will continue to add more fire in the next coming years which will be so exciting to watch. His walk-off pies have made the Yankees classic now! He's also very cute for a baby, well slightly!! Also, I must thank him for secretly autographing his pic for me. Awesome! I must thank them all for my very 1st Yankee Parade. As crazy as it was, it was a blast. Just too short. 27! Crazy. I think they can make it to 30. I think 30's enough. Y Not?
As they've already made they're post season dumb trades I bid adieu to cool BB Brian Bruney, he was insane, hated talking to the press & answering their stupid questions & was waiting to kick a little Met ass. Yet now with the Nationals, there's no doubt he will! & Phil Coke, who was just mad fun & crazy. You guys rocked us! Too fun! Thanx Yanks, let's go for 30!
THANX TO: ROBBIE ROBERTSON.....
for completely ruining what was left of the rock'n'roll greats. To explain: Mr. Robertson is an icon. He was in the band THE BAND! & since he's left he's done a couple of great records. I don't mean a couple because he's made some ok solo records, he actually doesn't have more than 5, so that works. Yet since then he's been A creative consultant to the Rock'n'Roll Hall of Fame Museum induction ceremonies that usually take place in NY. He actually told John Fogerty if he didn't go sing 'Proud Mary', since he didn't want to, that everyone would think it was a Tina Turner song. Crazy. Some of those shows have been amazing & have actually just been released on DVD. So why am I pissed at him. Well, I don't know who actually put together the Madison Square Garden show that took place last month saluting all the artists who already have been inducted, but since he IS A consultant or whatever the hell that is supposed to be, than he should have fixed the hell out of this piece of crap they've been playing on HBO lately. I've had nothing but respect & love for my fellow aging artists. I don't care if they have canes, wheelchairs, grey hair up to their ankles, so what, if they can still kick, they can still kick, simple right?? It will not look bad if done correctly. Ask QUEEN, MOODY BLUES, JETHRO TULL, STEVE MILLER, CHICAGO, etc... but were these acts there? NOOOOOOOOOOOO! the only acts who maybe saved that show were JEFF BECK, who was unbelievable [with the morbid exception of Sting absolutely destroying 'People Get Ready' & looking like Santa Claus had lost weight!!] & CROSBY STILLS & NASH, WHO NO MATTER WHAT ARE ALWAYS GREAT!!! But the rest was just bad playing, bad collaboration & just bad taste. Everyone looked old when they weren't & sounded terrible where they shouldn't have & they hadn't before. I never would've let that air. Had Ray Davies been allowed to sing more than 1 song he would've stolen that show, which he did, if Metallica hadn't almost destroyed his song while playing it. Just horrid. Ray Davies is a genius & a Hall of Famer. So what was he doing playing with those idiots??? ROBBIE?????????????? I blame you & you better fix that & get some real damn musicians in the Hall of Fame Mr. Damn Consultant!! CONSULT!! DON"T INSULT OUR INTELLIGENCE ALREADY!! You made all those musicians look old & that should never have happened. It was embarrassing & you should be embarrassed. Anywhere these all these artists would've looked good on their own but nooooooooo, you have to combine them with other idiots, make them sing songs they don't need to sing & just sound terrible. It was never their age, this time it was & that was pathetic. You better look at that tape carefully before you publicly show something so pathetic again!!
THANX TO: VH1 DIVAS:
For putting on the worst show ever, worse than the above show I was thanking Robbie for. OK, its TV. You have a time limit. You picked Divas that no one heard of, or have heard of but only had one song to sing so you had to fill up the rest with Paula Abdula's tirade & awful whining. A show you actually had some poll to pick the Divas for this particular show. Now maybe if you don't do that again, then you'll maybe decide to pick some ladies who can actually sing not only in key but can actually sing.
THANX TO: the LOON WHO WROTE:
YOU LIGHT UP MY LIFE. Yep, that's right. Anyone remember this song? Well if you do or don't. Its a 1977 extremely mellow song by Debby Boone. She DID NOT WRITE THIS SONG!!! OK! It was from a movie of the same name, which won the Oscar for Best Song that year. OK! This song was remade in the 90s by Leann Rimes, who actually did an ok version of it, if you want to look it up. NOW. SHE DID NOT WRITE THIS EITHER!. [I know what you are thinking, do you think I'm that dumb? ..... YES! people do think this way now, if they haven't heard of 1977.] NOW, the Oscar winning loon who wrote this, apparently made some awesome moolah out of it so much so that he's going away for it, for a very, very long time. Seems sir dude took this moolah, set up a company for himself to hire & lure women to his nest for kicks. That's all I'll say because the charges are quite heavy & he IS going away. The best part about this sick story is that some other? woman actually married him & took some stuff from him so.....HE'S SUING HER!!!!!!!!! FROM WHERE JAIL???
WHAT THE HELL?? He wants his stuff back, some jewerly & money she took or something. I guess he'll need it to pay off his new wives in prison, because when they find out he wrote that song he's so done. Now this story should've been everywhere! It's my No. 1!!!
THANX TO: BLONDIE & PAT BENATAR!!:
for putting together the best tour of the year! Along with the semi-new Donnas opening for them, this ass kicking chyk-fest was what the Lillith Fair should've been [apparently this show is coming back next year, let's hope they learned something]. They called it 'Call Me Invincible' which was brilliant. Together they were on fire. Too bad their sets were so short. Pat G, who does not go by Benatar anymore [if you didn't know, she took her man's last name & the band is actually now called Pat & Neil, which isn't so bad...so what? she's still Pat!] actually celebrated the 30th anniversary of her 1st album which seems insane but its true. In tribute she called on the boys who 1st played with her on that classic record,including the amazing Myron Grombacher on drums. It was drum heaven that night. Along with Clem Burke of Blondie it was just perfect drums all night long. An amazing tour which should be repeated every year. Just incredible. Miss Blondie was Miss Blondie as always. Deborah Harry's voice was intact as always & just fun. It was a perfect show, it just should've been longer. Very cool.
THANX TO: QUEEN:
For just carrying on & being fantastic & not putting up with Paul Rodger's dumb statements after going back to Bad Company. They continued on with Paul as their singer & made a couple of great records but then he had to pull the Firm/Law crap on them & ditch them & be stupid about it. I would hope this tells these fantastic musicians that they don't need anyone but themselves to still be Queen, a fact they have proven constantly & on their entire tour.Let's hope they don't make any more idiotic 'Idol' decisions & keep to themselves & come back swinging. BRIAN MAY & ROGER TAYLOR are the most talented musicians in the world, even Paul knows this. He's not that stupid! They deserve to keep playing as Queen because they ARE QUEEN!!! Roger has a fantastic solo record out called the Unblinking Eye & finally he has come back strong solo. Let's just hope they can come back next year with something special!! IN fact they actually have found some new singers. Better than they've ever had!!
THE MUPPETS!!! Now that is QUEEN!!
I have lots more to be thankful for, even though it was a horrible year, besides the above madness. My yearly list of 50 [this was years ago] has dwindled down to 10 since there was so much crap, apparently Wikipedia? says there were approximately 3,197 pieces of crap & counting released this year [maybe I have that wrong & maybe they do too, personally I think its more than that-did you know that Cheap Trick had a new album this year??? poor guys!] but there was actually some ok stuff. Personally I cannot wait to release my alter-ego's valley girl album, but until then..' here it goes......
MOVIES OF 2009:
[I can't believe I even know 10]
1. WHIP IT
2. PIRATE RADIO
3. LAST CHANCE HARVEY
4. UP
5 . ANVIL-THE STORY OF ANVIL
6. 9 [NOT NINE THE WORD, THE NUMBER 9,]
7. SANTA BUDDIES
8. CLOUDY WITH A CHANCE OF MEATBALLS
9 . TAKING WOODSTOCK
10. TRANSFORMERS 2
2009 ALBUMS:
1. UNDER THE COVERS, VOL.2- SUSANNA HOFFS & MATTHEW SWEET -didn't think I'd take it the 1st time [Vol.1] but she did again, so pissed!!
2.LIVE IN UKRAINE-QUEEN -nothing short of brilliant
3. WICKED WONDERLAND-LITA FORD -sex driven hot rock
4. ALL THE WAY IN-BERLIN -classic madness
5 .BELIEVE-ORIANTHI -classy new guitar lady
6 .MY TURN-TANYA TUCKER-always amazing
7 .REVOLUTION-MIRANDA LAMBERT -she just rules!
8 . BLUE AGAIN-MICK FLEETWOOD BLUES BAND -what else??
9. COSMIC EGG-WOLFMOTHER -they're still good...
10.GET LUCKY-MARK KNOPFLER -he's always cool...
'6 CHYKS & NONE GOT NOMINATED FOR A ROCK GRAMMY BECAUSE THERE IS NO FEMALE ROCK CATEGORY ANYMORE!! PATHETIC!!'
THAT'S MY END OF YEAR STATEMENT!!!!!!!
There you go...good riddence 2009....weird year...weird end to the decade?? WHAT? ARE U KIDDING?? THE DECADE?? THAT MEANS.....
I GOTTA....WRITE... A DECADE??? LIST????
HELLO??????????????????????????
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